Makeup and Being Right

i ruined my workout today by eating cookies and pizza ... i felt so sick afterwards ... and i have no one to blame but myself. i embarassed myself only able to do 2 legit deadhangs for coach yesterday when i thought i could do more... no prob pulling 4-6 kips, but deadhangs are the real test and i failed miserably. i also couldn't string more than 2 TTBs, which have always been one of my favorite movements ... REALLY?!

i said i'd get off my ass march 1st ... and i did it haphazardly, if at all. working out 2-3 times a week is NOT enough to get back on the wagon.

i need to come clean and call out my own BS.

i look scrawny ... i probably lost most, if not all of the quality muscle weight i worked my ass off for this past year ... and i can grab a handful of flab that did not exist. seriously ... if i'm struggling to C&J a weight that i used to warm up with, then i SHOULD be embarrassed.

with all that said...

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CrossFit Games Open 11.3 (Made up Thu 4/7)

AMRAP 5 minutes @ 12 rounds

Squat clean & Jerk @ 110 #

http://beyondthewhiteboard.com/workout_sessions/1186815

i question my squat depth on some of those reps, to be honest. i also did't feel like i was pushing as hard as i could ... i gamed it too slow (2 per min) and didn't really go for it until the last minute - which was too late. i had another 2-3 left in me and missed the train...! DORK!

ok, i want to do this one again. clean & jerks are one of my favorite movements ad i am TRULY ashamed of how poorly i performed.

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coach said something to me yesterday that stuck ... well, actually, he's said it a few other times too ...

"you overthink things. keep it simple."

he's right... of course he's right... analysis paralysis mixed with laziness ... oh that's makes for a long road ahead ...

so these are the things i'm to do over the next 5 days:

- track what i do and how i've been managing my time from waking to going to bed

- come up with monthly measurements for heavy and long goals

this is going to be tough. why?

i want to make it more detailed. i want to think things through and detail out the plan.

i want to slack off until 6 months before the expedition and do things the way i've done them in the past...

i want to eat like crap and expect my body to perform like it did 10 years ago

but i can't. coach knows and i know that if i'm going to meet my ultimate fitness goal, i need to change things. he made a good point that i think about when i do things, am i doing them towards my ultimate goal?

"when you do something, will it help you achieve that goal?"

to safely climb and return with matt from the denali west buttress route on our unsupported, solo expedition.

given that i'm well on my way to 50 and my climbing days are nearing expiration, i need to change the way i look at fitness and how i treat my body. historically, i treated training as a means to an end as opposed to a lifestyle. that's gotta stop and i can't assume that the body god blessed me with can be taken for granted anymore.

so he's right. of course he's right.

when people ask why some of us at CFC are so loyal and speak so highly of the coaches, it's because of things like this. hard-headed, overthinking goofs like me need people like rudy, bryce, and the gang at CFC to keep us on the right track and help us keep our "GRRR!" on.

let the bloodbath begin.