Nothing like a chipper to check the ego (and test your patience!)

Did the masters' WOD today with Mischief Matt & The Barky Bunch ... when I saw Matt suffer through those burpees, I realised I was next and all the bravado immediately went to shaking scared ...

CF Games Master’s WOD @ 24:22

• 10 Handstand push-ups (baby bands)
• 20 Wall ball (14#)
• 30 Toes-to-bar
• 40 Power cleans (75#)
• 50 Burpees
• 60 SDHP (1.5p KB)

There's lots of work to be done in terms of consistency, mental toughness, and efficient ROM.

I had to stop somewhere in the burpees to use my inhaler ... it's been a long time since I've had such a bad bronchial spasm, but it's my own bloomin’ fault for working out in the heat like that.

Power cleans started off cruddy but got corrected early thanks to Matt's cues. KB helped me to use my posterior chain and hip flexors better (or so Matt says) and I can tell I will feel it tomorrow. Glute and hamstring chain, grow baby, grow!!

It’s all good, though. I have work to do and chipping away at it like this was a good way to see how patient I really am and how steady I can be during longer durations... it takes 16-19 days of really hard work before you can make your first summit attempt (in addition to absolutely no comforts whatsoever) ... then what’s a 20-30min workout then, right?!

Man, not doing a proper climb in a year has made me soft! (and small! hahaha!)

Know Thyself

I’m not quite there yet - but there’s always time and I have a way to go. As Matt & I start doing some preliminary planning for the expedition, I feel it’s time to check in with myself and take an honest, realistic look. Please bear with me as I blather on ...

• Diet: I'm getting better, but let's face it, I am still an addict. I still want cheat meals. I confess that I'm still letting myself ease in simply because Denali is 10 months out and I don't want to burn myself out going hard all the time. Know thyself. Give it a month or 2 and then -BAM- I become Diet-hypomanic because the mental pressure of the expedition kicks in.

  Side note: today's craving... quart of chocolate gelato (800 cal), fried shrimp (about 500cal), and 4-box of Sweet Mandy B's cupcakes (about 2200 cal) ... So, I'm not worried about the calories because I need to gain weight ... I'm worried about how I'm going to feel and perform afterwards ... ugh ... that's gonna suck ... really suck ... well, I just ruined a perfectly good cheat meal for myself ... no longer tempted... I'm such a chicken!

• Physical Training: Consistency! Consistency! Consistency! I'm still easing my way into a training pace, which will make maintaining it easier over time. I know I can burn myself out, but I also know I can rival the laziness of Turkey-the-Cat if I’m not careful - so this is a balancing act. So far, I'm CF'ing 3-5 times a week (for now) - which is good.

  These are my milestones: Around 9-6 months out from expedition, I'll ramp up to 4-5x a week with 2-a-days once a week. Then 5-3 months out, I'll keep the 4-5x a week but ramp up to 2-a-days maybe a few times a week. By the last 2 months, I'm going to aim for 2-a-days as part of my daily schedule with several long, heavy chippers throughout the week... why? My body has to be ready for those tough storm days or those heavy vertical moving days. So far, it seems like the most realistic approach for me.

• Technical Training: Know it in your sleep, know it in a storm, know it when your rope partner punches through a bridge, just F’ING KNOW IT... that pretty much sums it up. I have to remind myself that wilderness skills are perishable. I don’t believe I’ll ever forget HOW to tie knots, beacon search, probe, or set anchors ... but being able to do them as if second nature when it matters is critical.

  A climbing buddy once said that you can never practise rescue and climbing techniques enough because the safety of team members and having a good experience are at risk. Last year, Matt and I were prepared, but a couple of folks on our team weren't ... frostbite and AMS became trip killers ... and not fun at all when you’ve trained hard, got yourself mentally and physically prepared, and spent 5-figures to climb a mountain with a pretty narrow summit window.

• Expedition/Logistical Planning: it’s just me, Matt, and our well-seasoned gear. We started putting together the plan for our climbing gear, protection gear, layering systems, food, fuel, and camping gear together. Since this is my 5th (and Matt’s 3rd) time on this mountain, we’re pretty solid in terms of planning this out. The major adjustments will be pack weight, food/fuel rationing, and cache/carrying strategy since we’re going unsupported and on a different, more challenging route (west rib).

  I finally got around to looking at all the videos from last year ... given the bad injuries and death, it wasn’t particularly easy (story for another day). But we need to take everything and our trip report into consideration as lessons learned ... and move forward. Since it's just us two unsupported for Denali this time (i.e., no guides/sherpas to help build camps, cook, guide, handle logistics, food/fuel planning), there will be major pack weight increases, more recovery time needed, cache/carry adjustments on the route, and more disciplined eating... I confess that my biggest lesson was that I made things harder on myself... I just wasn't eating or drinking enough when we got above 14k ... that and we didn't check in with the other team members to ensure they were taking care of themselves as well (btw, frostbite and AMS are very preventable).

  No doubt, mountaineering is a team sport and you can't f#ck around when you risk so much... so if you ever see me slack off or complain, I give you free reign to give me hell or remind me what it will take to get Matt to safety if we’re above 17k feet and he’s too injured to get down on his own. Alex was totally right - failure is NOT an option.

---

Anyhoo, on Tuesday, I worked on cleans ... here's some of the videos ... please don't judge me!

2997 - warm up @ 75 (15-45-15). Haven't worked on cleans in a while so I came in knowing it'd feel a little rusty. There aren't enough hours in the day ...

2998 - not sure, but this is either 95 or 115 (25 or 35# plates)? I guess it doesn't really matter at this point because I'm still warming up and working on my timing (or lack thereof) ... neutral spine, time the pull, aware of hips, elbows underneath, explode, get under the f’ing bar! ... that sorta thing

2999 - added more weight ... as matt point out, a bunch of things here ... gotta bend hips and kness to get under the bar faster, thus avoiding that odd-looking wide landing. I also lost engaged, neutral spine. I still struggle with that in many lifts so it needs to be continous work.

3001 - coach matty really gets into the mix now ... i can see that i'm starting to over-think it and not just getting aggressive under the bar ... and just doing what he says!

3003 - tad better ... but not by much ... one thing improves, other things appear ...

3006 - elbows and back... the work continues...

so yeah ... there are many, many more opportunities for improvement, but you get the picture. I’m not "awful", but my cleans definitely need work and I know what I need to do. It’s a work in progress like the rest of everything else in life and certainly not the end of the world.

It’s all about the fun...

This is a photo of Abbey, Patrick, and I at the Bigfoot Triathlon... Abbey was done because she did the sprint distance (and did she ever!), I was transition sherpa and cheerleader, and Patrick was 1/2 done with his run here... total Level 1 fun!

Strength: Press
Advanced 5×4 @ 88% of last CFT
Intermediate 4×5 @ 77%

So I started at 5×4 @ from 83# all the way down to 75# ... WTF?! I honestly felt weak … not my day… and definitely not enough good calories today

WOD: Elizabeth (12 min cap) @ 9:31
3 rounds, 21-15-9 of

Squat Clean

Ring Dips
I suffered this WOD with 85# and a purple band for the ring dips … started with nice and smooth squat cleans, then by round 2, they got chopped into power cleans with front squats … minimal breaks … work in progress  

Post-WOD: 3 rope climbs (15’) + 3 skin the cats ... Rope climbing is fun! Skin the cats are fun! WOD’ing with Japirish is AWESOME!

Not my best day, but not my worst.

Mountain Athlete

Cleans @ home

Cleans are a favorite, but a perishable skill. Worked on timing clean movement sequence for an hour with Matt - I need to work on getting under the bar more ... started at 80 and stopped at 145 when my legs/back started getting sloppy. Best work and comfort level around 125 - I’ll post video of the ones I want to work most later.

Metcon (forest preserve)

20min AMRAP of

• 400m run
• Unbroken double unders (Record rounds & highest/lowest du unbroken streaks)

Route: http://www.gmap-pedometer.com/?r=4611047 . According to Google pedometer, it’s 409m, but it’s fine

7 rounds + 5 DU
17-38-11-8-18-24-22
Tough, but fun! I found myself jogging the last 3 rounds  to save something for the DU. Also a bit of a mental struggle finding pace and sticking to it... as well as keeping the DU consistent.

Post @ 15 + 15 TTB ... rings are definitely easier and lots of fun in our yard with big tree, dogs, and Matt. I also played around with this wrapping knee over arms thingy that I saw on Mountain Athlete ... might be useful for fixed line ascent movements or ice climbing.

Notes:

I’ve been chatting with Rob at Mountain Athlete and he’s provided extremely helpful suggestions for my programming and conditioning for Denali. Given his expertise and skill, he’s a no-brainer to work with as a sport-specific complement to my overall CF conditioning ... plus it’s FREE and something that Matt wants to do with me here at home. He knows and understands the community, he leverages CF principles, It’s FREE, and the programming is specific to mountaineering/climbing

... so this is a good fit... oh yeah, did I mention that the information is free?!

Tue 7 June: WOD & Personal Goals

This is a photo of my goals for the week. When I originally set them, I decided that I wanted to move more efficiently and build more confidence before throwing on the weight. I have great PRs from last year’s expedition training, but I relied too much on EMOTION and not on EFFICIENCY.

If I can improve HOW I work, I believe I can exceed those PRs. I also decided that this year, I am going LISTEN more and just do what the coaches say (i.e., be more “coachable”). I confess that I get performance anxiety and am honestly intimidated, but I really trust them... I mean, if it weren’t for Bryce, Rudy, Alex, and the CFC gang, I wouldn’t have been able to physically do what I did last year... TBD....

So, I tried my first 2-a-day today ... partly because I wanted to see if I could do it and partly to get mentally prepared for the onslaught of training & adapation in the coming months ... also because of peer pressure. Yes, peer pressure. CrossFit nurtures peer pressure, guilt, and perfectionism. If you grew up with a large, close-knit family, catholic guilt, competitive team sports, and someone close who is/was in the Millitary or Law Enforcement ... then you’re a prime candidate for CF addiction. Good stuff.

This 2-a-Day included making up Monday’s WOD and then visiting my friends @ Construct. Drywall and Anderson gave me so much flack about not visiting that I HAD to go... seriously, it’s like living around my siblings again ... except white and a helluva lot more fit ;)

... anyhoo ...

1. Ran 2m (15:56) through the forest preserve while Matt was at the Doc ... even so early, the ferocious heat beat me up and I was seriously dragging ... not to mention that I am not the best runner in the world (coach has scary video of my sorry ass as proof, trust me on this one) ... this run was a good indicator of how much work I need to do by October
2. Went to CFC and worked on TTB, doubleunders, C&J, and cleans. 4 rounds @ 6 TTB + 30 DU, not timed, but I didn’t allow more than 10 second breaks in between each movement. It was a nice warmup.
   I love the coaches - they weren’t on duty so to speak, but still gave me pointers. It was very generous of them, but I have to admit that their attention gave me performance anxiety. Some people like the attention, I can handle some, but I hate the feeling of the spotlight when I’m out of my comfort zone... INTJ...
3. Then it was off to CF Construct ...
   Pre-WOD : weighted pull ups ...I started with isometric holds on deadhangs, then dribbled 1 or 2 @ 15# ... weak sauce!

   WOD: 5 rounds @ 5:49
   5 shoulder to over head @ 80#
   10 burpees

   They started as push presses, and then they became push jerks as the burpees kicked my butt. Need to keep those elbows up so I'm not wasting so much energy. Burpees slow, but steady. I confess to going lighter than necessary, but this was my 2nd WOD today and I didn’t get to rest the suggested 4 hours in between WODs ... I also believe that Drywall, Anderson, and Marty let me win... frickin Westside my arse!

   Derek has done a terrific job with CF Construct. I'm going to send a few friends who live in his neighborhood his way. I really enjoyed seeing remnants of the old CFC box there and it was just so nice to hang with some of the old gang. Good people all around.

---

so far ranking from 1-10 ...

• sleep: 7
• diet: 9+
• health: 8
• stress: 9 (ugh) 
• recovery: 8
• mental energy: 7
• physical energy: 7

hmm...

5 reps each of deadlift, hang clean, push press, and squat @ 45-45-55-65-75

kept things light to focus on good movement and consistency. didn't feel bad at all.

there was a little knee tracking, over extension of head/back, and droopy elbows ... but i corrected them as i went and kept pretty consistent. last round was funny when i cleaned too low and ended up sitting on the groud ... no worries, though. i leaned forward and pushed through! ha!

video to come shortly...

CF-Mode and Feeling It

Strength

Hang Clean 1rm @ 83(2)-103-123-143(4)-133(f)-133

Stopped at 133# because movement was beginning to degrade and my elbows weren’t getting under the bar fast enough anymore. Even though I tend to over-think what I’m supposed to do, I know there’s still some work to be done to match or better my 155#PR. Years of climbing and yoga gave me a propensity towards strength work (“It’s just a big backpack, T!”), so I’ve decided to work on quality of movement over the next few months rather than quantity of weight. The big PRs will be there. There’s a 180#PR waiting there in me ... I guess I’m just not feeling it yet.

Metcon
7 rounds Light and fast @ 18:08

5 Handstand Push-ups (abmats, abmats, abmats ... ugh)

10 Deadlifts (85# ... I know, weak sauce, but I have bad movement habits I want to break first)

10 Chest-to-Bar Pull-ups (V-weak sauce! Purple band on a few rounds, barely pull-ups at that!)

20 Double-unders (This felt good. Only broke once for all rounds and it deserved a good “HA!” at the end.)

I admit that got angry with how weak I’ve become in the metcon department ... but tomorrow is another day and I know there’s plenty more where that came from :)

Notes:
Interesting thing today. Coach noted that I don’t seem to be in CF-mode yet ... Bryce jokes with me a lot so this one didn’t strike me right away. But I think he’s right (he usually is and I love/hate that).

I guess I’m just not feeling that intensity yet. S’ok, though. I’ll get there and I’ll work to gain the weight that will help me along. The coaches tease me a lot and get on my case, but I can’t argue with people who really know how to call me out my lazy BS in order to get me to improve. These guys are total gems to put up with some of our adolescent behavior ... and my god-awful eating habits lately (for another post).

So even though I’m mixing in the yoga and home CF’ing, I’ve been coming into the box only 2x a week. I paid for 3x and am only wasting my own money and time. The intensity needs to be worked all around, I suppose. Truth be told, I’m a little burned out. This year has been REALLY frickin busy.

I’m not trying to make excuses ... I’m just REALLY tired! This year, I got in 2 semesters of full-time, labs with every class, pre-med coursework ... then climbed Denali (Mt McKinley) ... then climbed the Tetons ... then did my WEMT ... then did 6 weeks of NPS and IHS rotations ... then moved twice, bought a new house, renovated it, and moved again ... built 3 websites for friends’ businesses ... then got engaged and am now planning a wedding and trying to get a job. All the while still training, getting sick once in a while, having accidents, doing some volunteering, running a few races, getting injuries, and trying to nurture a relationship. Dude, seriously?! I’m a bit pooped!

Stress: 6
Strength: 75%
Mental energy: 7
Physical energy: 6
Health: still cloggy lungs, but improving
Diet: pretty bad. i eat clean (i.e., paleo) all week, then i pull out the chocolate, cheese, and popeyes around 8pm because i’m feeling too lazy to cook ... then i tell myself that i need to gain weight anyways (yeah, i know, it’s the wrong kind of weight. seriously?! this is shameful. i was one of the paleo challenge winners earlier this year and look at me now! i didn’t just fall off the wagon, i jumped off with eyes wide open. man, i can see bryce showing me his tatoo and rolling his eyes at me. it’s the worst!)
Sleep: 7-8ish ... i’ve been so lazy lately, who knows!?

20100219 Training: Too Slow

woo! i stared at the bar too much tonight. thanks tim for talking me through - it helped a lot. a slow, but steady 14:31 @ 60#

back squat depth is a weakness that i need to keep working on. today was not my day: 88-101-115(5)

20100216 Training: Chipping Away

No doubt about it, the expedition is getting close. Having said that (Jenn!), skills, fitness, cold-weather, and mental training will continue until we board the Otter that will get us on the glacier.

I practiced knot-tying with my mitts on today while Matt did ran to/from work with a 75lb heavy pack.

Sound like a strange skills to develop? Perhaps. But imagine trying to set up a shelter, hump out your cache, or tie out an anchor when it's -20f, winds are a zippy 50+MPH, and snow is whipping your face to shreds. Yeah, these are things we want to do quickly, efficiently, and without mistake.

Truthfully, I am confident I can reach my fitness goals, it's just that I've gotta get my mental game on. I just don't feel as focused and confident. I feel overwhelmed. School full-time,

Anyway,

DL @ 145(5)-168(5)-191(13)

Metcon: 8 rounds + 3 Hang Cleans
Hang Cleans @ 65lb
KBS @ 40lb

Mean workout, but great. I can feel the DOMs coming! Yay!

I spoke with Coach for a few minutes to talk about my training strategy. He validated a lot of my thoughts but I need to continue working on them. Wish I had someone to bounce things off of and get advice that's more specific to training for the expedition.

Oh yeah, it's on.

20100202 Training: Aggressive indeed!

I'm feeling better. Diet and rest are making big differences.

Power Cleans 5-3-1+
1RM+5 @ 67.5%/76.5%/85.5%

5 rounds, unbroken reps of:

• Wall Ball @ 12lbs
• Hang Power Clean (45% of 1RM Clean)

30 seconds of rest in-between exercises

A break on the wall ball is any non-movement with the ball in hand.
A break on the hang power clean is any pause more than 2 seconds at the top or bottom.

Optional Post WOD: 3x max push ups (90 seconds rest)

---

Coach agreed that I'm still not @ 100% work capacity so I scaled back 10% from my lifting totals today. I'm almost there and only about 100# underweight now ... (yes, I gained 8lbs back! Woo hoo!)

Power cleans: 85-95-105(5)
1RM = 135#

• 67.50% @ 91 (82 scaled)
• 76.50% @ 103 (93 scaled)
• 85.50% @ 115 (104 scaled)

Strength ambling back, but I can't sustain. Weight gain, food, and rest. I'm on it.

• WB 12#: 27-26-15-13-7
• HPC 63#: 27-19-15-15-10

Wasted a few WB reps not hitting red line. I also want to apologise to everyone last night. My hands refused to cooperate in spite of having plenty # left in me ... Thus, I got rather angry when I'd break and got a little
"vocal". Can I call a do-over? ...at least for fun? This was awesome and arguably my favorite WOD :)

Pushup Max: 10-10-8
Beh. It's gonna take time

20100126 Tue WOD: Frustration

I'm going to lay it out right now. I'm so frustrated I can hardly type ...

I get it. I lament the limitations of my age, recovery from illness, financial responsibilities, managing the household, and school ... it's a crap attitude to have, but there it is. Not because I'm a masochist or looking for attention, but because I keep getting reminded everywhere I turn and every time I think I've made a little progress.

It's really hard to keep a stiff upper lip when I struggle to climb easy routes, carrying fractions of my usual hauls, or go faint during a workout that normally charges me up. My body just won't fucking recover fast enough and it's playing with my head and confidence level. Talking with Eileen last week made me feel better knowing I'm not alone and I think of how hard Alma has it too, but it doesn't erase the fact that we struggle with things we have no control over.

It's frustrating and overwhelming. I get all sorts of feedback ... some of it is surprising and helpful, some of it contradicts what others say, some of it is embarrassing or just downright insulting. It's hard to be called ridiculous when you're making a genuine attempt to learn, put the work in, and not ask for special treatment. I'm doing my best to be coachable, but I also think it works both ways. If it weren't for the faith a few patient, understanding folks had in me, I might have given up by now.

You know, I was really looking forward to going to the gymnastics cert ... I was also looking forward to competing at Sectionals too ... but in 103 days, I have a major expedition, a semester of classes to ace, a condo to sell, and a home to take care of. It's hard to be asked why I'm not doing this or going to that, but I can't say I'm committed to Matt and not take care of him after he spent night after night doing the same for me ... I can't say I'm being fiscally responsible when I'm spending money on things I don't immediately need for the expedition ... I can't say I've prioritized school if I miss out on 12 solid hours of studying I really need to do ... it's hard to be open, social, and positive but keep your mouth shut at the same time ... especially when you've got your eyes on a target further than most people are willing to see.

I'm not going to lie. When you get kicked in the pants so many times over so many years, people telling you that you're "not in the top percent", or having to go at things alone ... it gets harder. I want to yell at Matt for eating ice cream in front of me while I weigh, measure, and pick at meals I don't even want to eat. I want to scream every time I need 8 hours of sleep knowing that I won't get it tonight. I want to cry when I can't pick up the damned bar or finish off that deadhang. I want to punch that stupid fucking Resident for "...have you thought about having children? You should really think about that soon given your age.". Sometimes I feel like taking back that ice cream box, sitting on the sofa, and giving up.

I get it. I overthink it. I worry too much. I take on too much. I need to get over it. My mental game is a big issue. I am my own worst enemy. I'm a pain in the ass. I know!

But dammit, I'm really trying. There are only so many hours in the day and I'm struggle just to put on a nice face and keep up.

Alright. Venting is done. I'll adjust my attitude now.

---

Strength: Deadlift 3-3-3+ @ 130-150-165 (63%-72%-81%) weak and inconsistent form

Gymnastics:
- Ring dips @ 5-5-5
- Worked on the swing to get me into that muscle-up
- 3 isometric 90-degree pullup holds for :30 each

Metcon 5 rounds @ 3:38
- 7 Hang Squat Cleans @ 45 (60% of max clean would've been 81)
- 7 burpees

... yeah, I realize I needed to go heavier. They felt like heavy airsquats and I went completely unbroken ... even with burpees (which are at the top of my suck list). 35# probably would have added another 3-4 minutes - which might have been more realistic and gainful. It was tough, but I still feel like I cheated myself today. I know I'm ultimately responsible for the mistakes I make and I am learning to filter what coaching is legit and what is out-of-context. Time to move on to tomorrow.